the worst part of my pregnancy was stepping on the scale very doctors appointment. it was hard to see my weight go up and it was really hard to accept that it was good and normal and healthy. although i only gained 25lbs with ava, i didn't lose hardly any of it until i was finished breastfeeding and i breastfed for about a year. i had these expectations that breastfeeding would magically melt off all my baby weight and i waited and waited and waited for that to happen and it didn't. for whatever reason, my body needed that weight to support my milk supply and while i loved breastfeeding, i kept counting down the days until i could fit back into my skinny jeans.
so after ava was weaned, i got serious about losing the weight. and i've always been pretty good at losing weight. i generally have a decent amount of natural muscle mass and in the past, when i wanted to change my body, i just changed my diet and that was enough for me. i am not athletic and i hate to work out...those people who talk about how they need to go on a run or else their day is ruined, i just don't get those kinds of people. i was the chubby girl who cried in p.e. when we had to run the mile on fridays, ya dig?
so when i started to lose weight, i had this magic number in my head. my goal weight. and i dieted and it took about six months or so, but i reached my goal weight! but here's the thing: all of the sudden my goal weight didn't really look like my goal weight. pregnancy changed my body. i am softer and a lot of that natural muscle mass had somehow disintegrated.
and i know what they all say..."your body bounces right back after your first baby" yada yada yada and ya know, that just wasn't what happened to me. and i thought jeez, if my body isn't bouncing back after my first baby, it sure isn't going to bounce back after my second. so if i don't get it back now, is it never coming back?
so i decided to be proactive and to do something about it. and i don't remember how i got the idea to look up the jillian michaels 30 day shred, but i remember somewhere i read or heard that it was a pretty legit workout. so i set myself a goal and when ava napped, i started to work out.
i still remember that first workout and feeling like there was no way i would be able to finish it. the warmup was a lot for me, because like i said, i'm not athletic and the last time i worked out was before i got pregnant with ava...just about three years ago. but i'm a stubborn little thing and when i set a goal, i will do just about anything to not let myself down.
this is me at week one and my "goal weight" before i complete my first week of workouts.